Thursday, August 16, 2007

A Relationship Rant

I was reading this page from feministing.com about relationships and how Anne has written an article stating that intelligent women suck at relationships. As I've always thought of myself as reasonably intelligent, this made me think of my own relationships. Yeah, I've had a few. And yeah, many of them have sucked. But is that related to my particular level of intelligence?

Anne's theory is that women who do well career wise don't do well at their relationships. She says "So what does all this mean? Well, I believe that at the root of all this is the fact that many women with a high IQ have a perilously low EQ (that's their emotional intelligence quotient). Put more prosaically, this would explain why bright girls are often fools in love."

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm not so sure any particular demographic holds the record for bad relationships. From my own skeletonous closet I've had relationships with guys who were lazy, substance abusing, manipulative, abusive and/or violent. I've also had relationships with guys who have been hard-working, devoted, dedicated, loving and supportive. My current 12+ year relationship being the showcase of all of the latter. I've also known women from all different kinds of demographics that have had really crappy relationships.

So I guess what I'm saying is that while Anne may not have yet found her ideal relationship (is there such a thing?) I don't think that blaming it on her I.Q. is the answer. Women have enough crap thrown at them to keep them down and stop them from succeeding. The last thing we need is fear mongering that if we pursue our dreams and goals we will be left cold and lonely. That may or may not happen regardless of what else we do in life, but at least if we've continued to pursue our dreams and goals we'll have enjoyed the ride.

2 comments:

Sauntering Soul said...

AMEN! You pretty much said it all better than I ever could. I think she's just making a bunch of excuses for her low EQ.

knitty_kat said...

I think Ann needs a reality check. It takes two people to make something work. Perhaps her choices are not ideal, but if one is not willing to put in the effort (or the other for that matter) then things just don't work.

Well said . . . excuses never get one any where in the end.